The author of the magazine article turned out to live in Belgium and so did her plastic surgeon.
She was very happy with the result of her nose job.
Hm, having surgery in Belgium would mean that my insurance would not pay. Bummer!
Nevertheless I decided to travel to Antwerp, Belgium, to have a consultation with that specific plastic surgeon.
I arrived at a magnificent, monumental house at one of Antwerp’s most majestic lanes. Wow, impressive, and I had not even entered!
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| Something like this building. See what I mean? |
When I did, I went like “Wow!” again.
In a gigantic beautiful lobby was a front desk where a model-like young lady welcomed me. I was shown in a waiting room where I found myself surrounded by art on the walls, and beautiful rich people in the seats around me.
I felt like I somehow landed in an episode of Dynasty (for all you youngsters: a soap series in those days, about pretty, nasty, rich people).
When it was my turn, I was brought back into the classical, white lobby, where a man in an expensive-looking suit strode down from the wide, winding marble stairs. He greeted me and brought me into his office. A big room, tastefully decorated as if it came straight from a magazine for interior decorating.
The contrast with my encounter with the ‘public’ plastic surgeon back in the Netherlands could not have been bigger.
I explained my situation and my experience in Holland.
He listened, looked carefully at me and at my face and gave his reply:
” You don’t have a big nose.”
Whaaaaat? I don’t????
“No, you have a VERY BIG nose. A MAN’s nose.”
Oh, ok, glad we cleared that up!
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| ‘Like this one, you mean?’ |
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| ‘Or like this one?’ |
“And ofcourse I can give you a smaller nose! This is not a matter of gambling. This is skill and calculation.”
Phjew, what a relief! That’s very reassuring. Yes!
“But…..”
Oh my, here we have it…..
“….you cannot order a certain model or size nose. As in “give me Michael Jackson’s nose” (Hell no!) or such a thing. I am the expert here and I know which nose will match your face. I will give you a nose that looks natural.”
OK, I hear ya’. All good. Fine with me!
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| So there’s no menu, as in: ‘I will have number 3, thank you.’? |
“If you want to proceed with the surgery, it will cost you 5.000 guilders, to be paid in cash. You will go to the hospital a block from here, to reserve a hospital bed for a day and a night, you will be dismissed the morning after the surgery and you will come back a couple of times in the following months to me in this practice for after-care. Any questions?”
No, sir, yes, sir, can you please do it now?
No, just kidding with that last sentence.
I did not have 5.000 guilders though, being quite poor at that time, so my next visit was to my parents. After all they had ‘given’ me this nose, right?
Noooo, ofcourse that was no reason or excuse to ask them for the money. I could hardly hold them accountable or anything. That would be crazy.
In fact I found it quite a delicate matter, since they both had big noses too and since this was how they ‘created’ me. Would they feel offended?
To my surprise, they understood and were even positive towards a nose job for me. My mum confessed that she often had thought to herself : “Wow, Anja really has a big nose, hasn’t she?!”.
My parents were well of in those days and glad to pay for my surgery. Woohoo!
I went back to Antwerp to schedule a surgery and to reserve a hospital bed.
My homeopathic therapist in Holland had asked me to request a small sample of the anesthetic they would use in surgery, so that he could make a homeopathic antidote for all the anesthetic that I would get in my body. (That’s how homeopathy works, with diluted substances as treatment)
So I asked and the surgeon agreed, much to my surprise. Doctors in Holland would never agree to a request like this, just handing out anesthetics to anyone who asks.
Some weeks later I was admitted, had surgery and woke up the next morning with a blocked nose (=understatement).
Next to my bed were several ampuls with anesthetic (enough to knock out a horse, my homeopathic therapist told me later!). The surgeon’s charming secretary was standing at my bed. I felt like sh*t and was still groggy when she asked me to please hand her over the 5.000 guilders. Also I had to vacate the bed. As in right now.
Oops. OK.
Fortunately my boyfriend of that time was already there to help me get dressed, pack my small bag and drive me home.
We came home and I nestled myself in a garden-lounge chair in the middle of the living room in front of the TV (and VCR) with some blankets and a pile of videos.
My nose was covered with some sort of light plaster and stuffed with cotton. Not much breathing going on there. That all had to be done via the mouth and you can guess what happens when you fall asleep: your mouth automatically closes, you almost choke, and wake up, gasping for air. And so on, and so on.
So I stayed awake. And watched videos. One after the other.
I did that for five long days and nights.
If I was not watching movies, I was staring in the mirror, watching the black and blue areas around my eyes fade away. And being dead curious what my nose was gonna look like, when the plaster would be removed.
Now probably you don’t know how a nose job is done.
It goes via the inside, so there are NO scars on the outside. Did you know that?! I found that pretty remarkable and clever.
You can compare it to a tent, resting on poles. Well, you go inside the tent and change/shorten the poles. The tent fabric will then nestle itself on the changed structure underneath and take on that new shape.
In other words: they change the bone structure via the inside.
You can imagine that the flesh and skin has to sort of ‘settle’ onto the new structure underneath. It also means that the new shape can slightly modify during that settling process in the months after the surgery.
In my case it meant that the tip dropped a bit downwards, compared to what it was right after the plaster came of. I had to massage my nose for several months in specific ways, to help the skin to settle in the desired way and for it to stay supple.
So am I happy that I had my nose-job?
Oh yes, absolutely!
I did not get a small nose, I knew that in advance. But my nose looks ‘normal’ now. I never had any insulting remarks like that after my surgery and it has been over 25 years now!
You know how they say that plastic surgery is wrong…
- …because people try to solve psychological problems via an outside solution.
- …because people should accept themselves instead of changing themselves.
- …because it would be a sign of a disturbed self-image.
- …because people would get addicted and only want more and more plastic surgery after that.
- …because it means that we all want to look the same and strive after perfection and a certain beauty image.
It is not something to take lightly though, and I hope you think it through well and talk about it with friends and experts. If you come to the conclusion that this is the way to go for you, then don’t be discouraged by arguments like the ones I mentioned a bit back. They do not necessarily apply to you, like they did not to me.
And to all of you who are blessed with a more or less normal look: I hope you realize how fortunate you are and please, don’t be too fast to judge!
I hope my story made you more aware of what it can do to a person to be ridiculed and bullied for her/his looks. And that there is no shame in deciding to have plastic surgery. On the contrary: it can bring years of suffering to an end. It solved what friends, love and therapy had not succeeded to solve. It helped me to become my best and happiest self!
So what do you think of my story? Did you ever have plastic surgery? Would you consider it ? Have you endured any bullying?
Anja, I am SO GLAD that you did what you needed to do to make that nose job happen! Had I not had my accident, I would have gone through the same lengths you did. Like you, my whole life changed after I had my nose done. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’m elated that you finally found peace and could focus on living, instead of focusing on living with a nose you hated.
YAY for new noses!
Yeah, agree totally, V.; YAY for new noses!
This was a great story. I’m so happy it all turned out well for you.
I would have been like you, going to someone I thought really truly knew what they were doing.
A friend of mine had a nose-job and said it was the hardest thing she had ever done. Of course they break the bones in your nose and cut away some of the cartilage too, but she said it was the metres and metres of cotton gauze that was stuffed in her nose and subsequently in her head that caused her the most distress. That and sleeping sitting up, or at a high angle for a while. Plus she said like you that it was very painful.
Your nose looks great though : ) as does the rest of you.
bisous
Suzanne
Thanks, Suzanne ;-).
And somehow comforting that your friend experienced it as a big deal too. People seem to deal with it as if it’s nothing, while for me it was indeed the trouble breathing, sleeping upright and so on, that made it very unpleasant, to say the least.
You look great with a bigger nose or a smaller one 🙂 You look very happy now, tho! I think plastic surgery is okay as long as you know what you are doing. I have never got anything done, I’d rather change my entire head ;D
Thanks, Lara, sweet of you!
Just kidding, I may hope? About changing your whole head? Ofcourse you are kidding, pretty as you are!
Lovely you. You know I totally agree with what you say. If something bothers you that much, seek a solution. It was clever to ask for the name of that surgeon as you want references, reliable references of the person who is going to cut in you, I did exactly the same.
Greetje
Yes, you sure know what I’m talking about, Greetje, and we feel the same way about it! Miss you!
Me you too
;-). x
I just found your blog through Greetje and read your article on your plastic surgery. Thank you so much for writing it. I, too, had a “deformity”, very large (read “fat”) thighs. Although I was a normal weight and had quite a nice figure otherwise, my very large thighs were totally disproportionate to the rest of my body. Over the years, I received many negative comments. as if it were maybe some moral issue, due to some laziness or omission on my part. Sometimes even people I was barely acquainted with felt emboldened to comment. I could never wear straight skirts (what we call pencil skirts now) and could seldom find pants to fit, and even the few times that they did, they had to be taken up in the waist by several inches, far from a perfect solution. Finally, twenty years ago, I decided to take action. I had lipo. The doctor took out a combined 3 pounds from my thighs! That’s a LOT. It was the best decision of my life. I feel and look normal now. I can wear pretty much what I want. So let the naysayers on plastic surgery say what they want. I won’t say it changed my life completely, but it rid my of an ongoing problem that bothered me every single day.
Thanks again for writing this.
Hi Charlene, thanks for finding me and for leaving such a long and open comment!
Good for you, that you did what was helpful to get rid of a lot of negativity and painful situations. ‘Normal-ish-looking’ people have no idea how it feels to stand out in a negative way day in day out.
Yay for open, honest and brave people like you and me. People that are not ashamed of having had plastic surgery.
Nice ‘meeting’ you here on the blog, Charlene!