Let's keep it real

A while ago, on BlogHer/Daily, I came across the question: "What have you never dared to admit on your blog?".

Intrigued I clicked through and arrived on a blogpost by Heather from "Come What May and Love It", titled: "Let's keep it real."

In her post, Heather sums up a list of "If you really knew me, you would know that...." 's. 

She was clearly hitting a nerve, looking at the stream of involved comments straight from the hearts of her readers. And yes, it is a brave and touching post.

By chance, around the same time, I read Goats On The Road's blogpost titled: "The Truth about Travel: dealing with the low days."

I enjoyed reading both posts for being real and honest. For showing the flip side of what is normally presented in social media like blogs, Facebook and  Twitter.

For that same reason I  appreciate AnnabelleCandy (from Get in the Hotspot) 's posts about her struggle with depression. Very brave!

Two blogging friends of mine, Greetje from No Fear of Fashion and Sylvia from 40plusstyle, are both great in keeping it real on their blogs. I love that about them and their blogs. And so do their readers. People find it charming, disarming, courageous and recognizable. And it IS!

How real am I keeping it myself? 

Ok, here goes, what I have never dared to admit: I am in fact very famous and these are my two body guards. Really? Noooooo, just kidding!

Well, let's be clear here. 
Amongst friends and family I am quite an open and transparent person. But I am not that open all the time, everywhere or with everybody. And I think that's appropriate and not dishonest. 
I don't tell lies or make stuff up. I don't glossify my life.  But I choose to not say certain things to certain people or in certain situations.

This blog, e.g., is different things. It is a place where I can share my pictures, stories, experiences and thoughts with friends, family and hopefully a broader audience as well. It is a travel journal and a photolog. But it is not a diary. It's not my designated place to share my deepest, darkest feelings, doubts and problems with the world.

What it shows and says is 100% true and fully sincere -and not sponsored, for that matter- but that does not mean that it is The Whole Truth or that it paints the Total Picture.

Having said that, we all know how other people's posts on Facebook or on their blogs can make us feel. As if they are having such wonderful lives with only highlights and blablabla. Leaving us feeling envious or miserable.

Unintentionally I am sometimes perceived like that as well. "You? Tired? Sick? Problems?....But you seem to have energy for ten, when I look at your pictures and posts! Cocktails, luxury and happiness galore!". 

Yeah, right!

So just to put things in perspective, here is my "If you really knew me..." list. Showing the  flip side of things in my life.

1. If you really knew me, you would know that deep down I often go through life as a scared little bunny. Fundamentally I am shy and introverted. And the smallest things can stress me out. 

Untill this age I was shy, but not really scared. That came when I first went to school.

I am the one in the middle. I was always the smallest and skinniest in my class.

I know, I could have fooled you, you would probably say to me, if you met me nowadays.

Having fun with a group of men at the Ganesha festival in Pune, India.

Being the centre of attention, while negotiating over some sarees on a market in Mumbai, India.

Having fun with a  friend, while having a picnic in a park in Haarlem, The Netherlands.

Yes, I came a long way in overcoming my shyness and fears and in being able to deal with life and making the most of it. 
But one's essence does not really change.

So no, I am not a fearless traveller and explorer. But I am curious and enthusiastic. More or less despite myself, I do go out there and let myself be amazed. Maybe that does make me brave? Just a little bit?;-)

I love taking pictures of flowers and animals.

I am crazy about colors, like in these bright sarees in Rajasthan.

2. If you really knew me, you would know that I am not a very energetic nor healthy person. Never have been and probably never will be.
On my blog and on FaceBook you will see me 'in action', looking and feeling good and happy. And I do, I am. I did and I was. 

Fashion photoshoot with girlfriends in Haw Par Villa, Singapore. Me on the right.

Dancing tango in Mumbai.

Posing for a photoshoot for the website NotaTourist, Singapore.

But what you will not see there, is me feeling lousy, which is often. Because then I am alone. At home, in my hotel room, on the couch, in bed. Being sick, or exhausted, or both, often for no particular reason. Trying to recuperate and get better.

At the end of a flu, Chinese New Year, Singapore. Not looking all that great, right?

Tired in hotelroom in India.

Tired in other hotel room in India.

Flu and severe case of eczema. The manager of this hotel in Mumbai surprised me with a sweet, personal card and a box full of precious ayurvedic soaps for my skin.

On top of these soaps, housekeeping kept providing me with endless boxes of tissues. Really sweet.

In this hotel  in Pune I  fell ill for some weeks. I had the flu. The staff brought me to tears with this card with kind words to wish me well. When I was able to come down to the breakfast room again, staff members made me special teas that supposedly were very good for my health and throat. How nice!

When the worst fever has gone, but I am still feeling too sick to do much, I sometimes turn to drawing. I can do that in  bed;-)

This drawing talks about my headaches. I have them a lot and blame them to different causes.

Sometimes I am really sad not to have more energy, but in general I try to enjoy it when I do.

3. If you really knew me, you would know that I am a bad sleeper and have been all my life. Maybe partially caused by the first point and probably contributing to the second point. But since I don't have to work nor have many other obligations, I don't fret over it. It wears me down though, that's for sure.

So. In case you thought of me as a happy, healthy butterfly, effortlessly fluttering from Holland to Singapore to wherever.....making new friends here and there and everywhere....being a gutsy adventuror.... think again. 

I do, I have, I will and I want. Yes, I Can. But I can not say it always comes easy or naturally.

Frits is an important pillar for me. He makes me feel safer and stronger.

My dear cat Guust means a lot to me too. He is so sweet and comforting. I miss him, being away from home.

My family, friends (and their pets ;-))  keep me happy and sane as well. Like my friend Celeste from Singapore, with darling doggie Cash.

So that was me, keeping it real. How about you? How open are you on FaceBook or on your blog? Is it something you aspire?